2 yrs today....... was at work and this cold feeling came over me. I was wtf then it kind of all hit me. It's still cuts through me guess time does not heal all wounds.
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time does not heal these kind of wounds but it teaches us how to deal with the pain so that it gradually stops being an excruciating all consuming everyday experience, but when it "resurfaces" even just for a split second it cuts like glass. I too have lost, too many and too much, much too soon, regretting the time not spent together.
What I have come to realise though is that, instead of spending time feeling sorry for myself and regretting something I cannot put right, I should just celebrate having had such wonderful, amazing people in my life, I should feel blessed and be thankful for they chose to share part/most of their (too brief a) life on this Earth with me, and they gave me their hearts and their souls and loved me and taught me how to be a better person. The best way to celebrate them is to be happy, as that is what they always wanted me to be, (this is a very tough thing to do but damn it is nothing compared to what they did for me!) and be a better person and live and laugh and one day love again because that is what they would have wanted and that is what would make them proud, because that is what they loved about me. And I will make them proud! I will not disrespect their love and teachings by being less than what they saw I could be. This is my way of loving them back and thank them for all they did and for blessing me with their presence in my life. They are still here, with me, they are in my actions, in my heart and in my soul and they watch over me like she's watching over you.
Each one of us is different, I cannot tell you how to deal with your pain and I will certainly not tell you it will all be ok because this pain will never go away but that is good, because this means we will never forget the most beautiful things/lessons/people in our life.
I hope you will find some more peace and your way to deal with this; just know you are not alone, you'll never be alone.